Hi Mary-Jane

I'm sorry to say, there are no easy answers...at least none I ever found. I was just exactly like you when I was much younger...22. Absolutely terrified of men...felt totally awkward, couldn't even hold hands with a guy..would flinch if they happened to brush near me..the whole sh'bang. My gf's tried to set me up with guys constantly because they were either married or with someone and as expected, coupled friends want to see you as miserable--er...I mean as happy as they are. Some of the guys were drop dead gorgeous, but it didn't matter. In fact, one guy was a real hottie but he was also even more shy than I was, so yeah...that was a disaster.

Eventually, I met a friend of the 'hottie'....he was older...way older than me...about 35ish and he was just a friend. I could feel comfortable around him. He liked me, I liked that he didn't scare me cause I put him in the 'friend' place and never intended to take him out. Eventually, I opened up to him about my fears and the near terror of feeling awkward or stupid, and he just kinda..helped. He was so matter of fact about the physicality...that it put me at ease and eventually I was ok with it.

He never made it out of the friends zone for me, but he was the best friend I ever had at that time, because he helped get me thru my issues. So the only thing I can recommend, if not talking to a T, is possibly meeting someone you're NOT attracted to in that way...becoming friends with them (unless you already have someone like that) and just tell them how you feel and see if they're willing to help you with the awkwardness. Once I got past that...having a relationship with someone I DID like, was so much easier, and felt natural instead of staged and false.

I wish you luck and happiness...