thanks for the responses! I actually did get the shower and went out with my friend. We had a blast! It was awesome. I felt better the whole day.
My goal for today is to take my husband's 72 YO cousin out to have tea.....you know, the kind with the little sandwiches and desserts and all. My shower from yesterday is still good, so all I have to do is get dressed. My husband is driving us. I'm pretty sure I can do this.
Tomorrow is tougher. I would really like to go to church. It's at ten o clock, so realistically I need to take a shower tonight so I don't have to get up early. We are also celebrating my husbands birthday at a small restaurant nearby tomorrow night. Obviously, I should try to be there. It's only my three kids and my daughter's boyfriend...so the stress level is low. If I get a shower tonight, I'll be good to go both to church and the little dinner. So I need to focus on the shower thing.
I know someone asked if I have professional help. I have a pdoc and I see him once a month for a med check. (I can always see him more often if needed.) I have a T I talk to every two weeks. I am also in a live BP support group through NAMI. (meets once a week). Plus I am on here and have learned and been helped so much. I have great friends who understand and a wonderful husband. I have three young adult kids who are successful and good to me. So you can see my situation is pretty positive. But I am coming off a horrible 2 year depression. I am getting better but it keeps wanting to drag me back down. I am on six medications. I just have what I consider to be a bad case of BP 2...lots of depression with some hypomania...only a bit of nonproductive wild mania.
I've fought this my whole life and know it is a continual battle. But I am trying to be successful one hour and day at a time, hence my original post.
I really appreciate all the support. It helps so much to have this forum in my life. It takes the pressure off my family and friends.