(((((hugs))))

You sound like a strong person... who keeps on fighting.

Yes, medical depression never really goes away, but is managed. When things go fairly well IRL, it doesn't seem such a problem. It's when things begin to dump that it rears it's ugly head fully and tells us all the lies it wants to, just making us feel worse.

I think we all have to make some tough choices. One of yours might be to decide HOW MUCH/MANY side effects of a medication can you work with, versus feeling dreadfully depressed all the time? Talk to the doctor... meds often take a bit of time to figure out.

Hang in there.. PC is here for you