Thanks to the both of you. To be honest, just typing this, and thinking about this, kind of clarified a few things for me.
Unfortunately, I don't have an older guy friend to which I feel comfortable with, maybe I'll meet one. But for now, I'll try mentioning my ordeal to my friends, this is a big step. Because, like you said, friends are starting to 'worry' about me because I'm still single. Fortunately I'm not worried about it. I'm 25 so I've still got more than enough time ahead of me. It's just that, for now, especially with what's coming up ahead, this is very unfortunate.
I remember one of my teachers at school who really creeped me out, up to a point that I was afraid of being alone with him in one room. Which is probably ridiculous, can't imagine he meant anything by it. It was just that one shoulder touch, and I was out.
I also remember my first crush, at first everything was fine, I could goof around with him. I assumed he did not share the same feelings I had, which I really wanted him to have, to make matters even more complicated. But as soon as it looked like he did, moving in for the kiss, I literally pushed him away instantly. Right, what is wrong with me?!
I will be trying to conquer this, head on, but for now I'm still trying to figure out why I'm so afraid. I fear that might only be answered with therapy, and I am dreading that. I am glad that you could figure it out, gives me a little bit of hope.