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Old Jul 12, 2014, 02:27 PM
Anonymous100190
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
I think some of the anger/rage you are feeling is because of feeling "stuck" and like there is no way to resolve this issue. You don't like being frightened awake and yet you are afraid to try and work with your sister on a resolution or even express your resentment at being awakened.

happiedasiy has pointed out that ear plugs and sleep aids are probably not a good long-term solution. I would wake enough next sniff to do a "startle" reaction, "Oh! Your sniffing like that scared me! Are you all right?" and at least get it out without accusations or demands that she change. See if anything happens over time if you do that a few mornings in a row. Just making it known that it has disturbed you might keep your anger from building up and will notify your sister in a way that she cannot dispute/deny ("I am scared" is not something others can say, "No you aren't" to very easily/believably :-) and the extra "Are you all right?" defuse any anger on her part -- you can say you did not know if she was crying or had gotten a cold, had allergy/sinus problems, etc. and acting concerned about her instead of angry at the sound might help her become more aware of it.

Or, have you thought of going to bed and getting up earlier than your sister? :-) I would maybe set an alarm to go off, something that won't scare me when I wake or that I control. If you want to be angry at your sister, you can then explain that you prefer waking under your own power instead of being scared awake by her. But I think you should try a kinder way to at least make sure she is aware of the loudness/issue. You and your other sister have talked about it but no one has told her. Remember, how we sound to ourselves and how our habits affect us and our awareness of them are totally different from how they may affect those around us?
Thanks for the feedback. I have thought about getting up earlier than her, but that would require that I got to bed earlier and sometimes she can stay up for hours at night. But it wouldn't matter because she sniffs throughout the night and into the morning. I am going to try and talk to her about it, I just feel like it might not go the way I hope it will. My reason for not wanting to talk to her about it is because I always feel like I'm stepping on eggshells around her. And I have good reason for this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by happiedasiy View Post
Sorry to hear that you are in this situation and hopefully there is hope for everyone to have a restful/restorative sleep.

I am the one who talks/yells/snores in bed. My partner has yelled at me in the middle of the night and has left the bed as well.

Ear plugs worn too often will hurt your ears and taking a sleep aid every night isn't a solution for you.

Sister has to realize she has a problem and should see a doctor.
She may have a deviated septum which can be fixed.
She may have allergies, ect...
You said she sniffs during the day sinuses issues, most likely.
ONLY a DOCTOR can say!

Try to approach it with her like a project to work on together.
You need your sleep. Look into some of the things I mentioned and bring that information to your parents.
Good Luck
Thanks. As far I know, she doesn't have a doctor, or at least she never goes to see one. It may well be allergies/sinuses and she's aware of that, but won't do much about it. I'll approach her about the subject, but it all depends on her in the end.

Ear plugs and a sleep aid every night may not be a good solution, but if this doesn't work out then it'll be all I have.

And I live with both my sisters. So our parents aren't included in this.
Hugs from:
happiedasiy