Thank you so much for hearing me out, it was good to finally sit down and think about this, or just identify that I have a problem. I can work with this, I think.
At least I'm slightly relieved, because I'm beginning to understand why I'm doing this and now I know other people have the same issues I have.
I don't think I'll ever go to a therapist again, my last experience really ruined it for me. I'd just rather sort things out myself.