Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary-Jane
I remember one of my teachers at school who really creeped me out, up to a point that I was afraid of being alone with him in one room. Which is probably ridiculous...... I also remember my first crush, at first everything was fine, I could goof around with him. I assumed he did not share the same feelings I had, which I really wanted him to have, to make matters even more complicated..
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WOW...you so took me for a trip in the 'way back' machine! I had a teacher when I was in highschool...particularly unattractive (he had a back like a toad..wide and short) and he totally creeped me out because I KNEW he liked me....he used to follow me around the campus, but I was too shy to tell anyone anything. He gave me a 98% on a report on a 'streetcar named desire' that I never read, and only watched part of on a tv special the night before....bleh He was only a substitute but I couldn't wait until he left---he offered to 'help' me with my homework...uhhh no.
Brighter side, I had a huge, mega mega crush on a guy (sam...never forget his name...I still swoon hehe) but was wayyyy too terrified to even look at him except to glance at his face and quickly away. That was our version of flirting, I suppose, and I say 'our' (rather than mine) because 3 years after I graduated and after my friend helped me feel less awkward, I saw him in a club my 'girls' and I used to go to. OMG he was still drop dead gorgeous...but this time, I walked up to him, said hello (he was with his friends...no girl) and told him straight out, that I had had a huge crush on him. He said he had one on me too but thought I didn't like him lol Stuff-n-bother!
So went one of the most satisfying fantasy fullfillments that lasted about 3 blissful weeks. Then, he started to want an actual relationship, and I said....ummmm no. For some reason, I just wanted the fantasy and I was certain if we actually became bf/gf and something went wrong later...all the memories I'd fulfilled and enjoyed would be replaced by hurt, recrimination, and saddness. (yeah even then I knew there was something wrong with my longterm relationship ability lol) We parted friends; neither of us had gotten too deep yet, so it still is, a really wonderful memory.
Thank you for reminding me, Mary-Jane....I seriously needed something sweet to think of. The moral of the story of course, is that YES you have time, and YES you may (when you are ready) discover the guy you had a crush on...if so, tell him. It doesn't hurt, and could end up a very good thing. (But if he says he want's a 'real' relationship....consider it. In the end...as I'm older now...I really wish I had.)