Sorry for everything you have gone through. I think the best thing is for you to leave him alone. I know when you have strong feelings for someone it can be hard to not want to express them, but sometimes we can come on to strong and it pushes people away. I hope you are able to work through this. I think as someone said it would be a good idea to learn to get a better handle on these emotions because it can be very damaging for a relationship. With time I have learned to handle my own emotions and it has made for better relationships, however I still have issues.