Hello. I am sorry that you are going through this now. I have been and am still in a situation such as yours. I did manage to stop years back because of the help of a really good friend. However, with my friend now gone, I am back to doing this all over again and do not know how to stop. I am currently in this rut because I was informed that I was putting a few pounds on. Do you talk with a therapist about this? Do you know what triggers these ruts for you? I am also sorry that you are having to deal with this now and I'm sending you big hugs.