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I'm placing the blame on me because there's nobody else to blame.

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Maybe no one is to blame. And that's hard to deal with. I do the same thing you do - get out the stick and start beating myself, but it doesn't make me go away. I think it makes me more aware of the pain. You do deserve nurturing from yourself. That's my homework, too. I think it's probably natural to feel down right now because you're going through a loss - don't knock that. My therapist says to let myself feel hurt and down for a little bit and then it won't be so bad.
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Sorry for taking up so much valuable time from people who deserve it. I'll go back to stuffing it all in again and help people. Maybe that's better for me anyways.

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You are deserving and a valuable member of this community. I don't begrudge you any time you need. You give so much of your own time - sometimes you need a little bit for yourself or you'll run dry. Don't stuff - it will make you sick inside and eventually come out in other ways. We really don't mind.

((((Canders))))