Hi Matt, well I responded to your other thread if depression never goes away. Happy to see you explain more of your situation. I don't have the energy right now to repeat my whole story but I hope what I say gives you encouragement. All three run in my family for centuries yes I said centuries that being said. Panic disorder/ GAD Agoraphobia was the first strongest components for me at my worse I was afraid of a plant in my bedroom which I was pretty much confined too. After on my own trying to avoid all things that triggered the panic. The point I am trying to make is it can be overcome there is nothing really that I can't do anymore. I took meds , learned meditation , did CBT, what really helped push through that wall is when I finally started to use Ativan in my exposure therapy after I learned all the positive CBT skills that worked for me. It made the acute panic attacks more manageable while slowing me down enough to master CBT.

Fast forward to the present those issues are very much under control . Do I still have spontaneous panic attacks ? Yes . Do they still scare me ? Yes no one likes them . Can I handle them? Yes!!! I have learned to better identify my triggers, if I know I may enter a situation that I don't encounter to often I will use my helper Ativan for that situation.

I don't have attacks often I do still get anxiety everyone does it's a part of life.. Could that anxiety get out of control with the irrational thoughts that come to my mind with it of course but because of CBT. I have learned to cut and continue to cut those thoughts off before it gets to the point of panic. It becomes automatic if I am over tired, stressed, pms'ing then I need to be gentle with myself as I am more prone...

Like yourself I would have never wished it on my worst enemy nor did I ever in my life at that time think I could overcome as far as I have.

I have a thread on the Med forum as to where I am now in this recovery process with the depression part of it . If you think it might help you to know . The thread is called 51 days med free.

I feel for I truly do as I have been there myself I know that can be hard to believe when you feel so bad that anyone can understand how wakeful it is but trust we do. Many many if us .