I've been wondering if it's possible that I may be bipolar instead of just having depression and anxiety (gosh, I can't think because my dog keeps whining to go out). Every time I listen to one of you talk and tell one of your stories, it sounds like my life. Let me give an example. Here goes, every time I become close with a friend, we will make plans and they will down the road, start to be late without calling, then they will cancel at the last minute, then, because I no longer trust them to be on time, I'll call to make sure that they are going to be on time, they won't even answer their phone, and just won't show up at all. My husband says that I'm too sensitive and I wear my heart on my sleeve. He doesn't know why I care what people think about me. Like why when friends don't call me I get upset. Or when I had to have emergency surgery and almost died, out of a whole group of friends, only 1 person called me and came to see me. None of the others did. Not even my own sister. And it does really bother me when people don't like me. Even if I don't know them. I don't know why. I can't understand why people don't like me. What have I done to them? What is it about me they don't like. It drives me almost insane. I know that it's illogical, but I can't help it. I also can't help that I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I would change everything about me. I can find fault in every part of my body. I'm not sure if I'm trying to strip away me and make someone that I like, because I don't like who's inside now, after everything she's been through. Maybe I think I can escape the pain that way, even though I know that isn't true. I wish I could heal the inside.