I have a mild learning disability witch I absolutely truly wish I wasn't born with and despise myself for it and always have done for years but it has improved in general over years through help with my confidence witch has helped me with my learning, communication, memory recall and other areas but the only thing is that I keep constantly getting intrusive thoughts witch are driving me truly insane to the point where I felt suicidal and they aren't even related to cbd (compulsive obsessive disorder) and I have it for at least 9 years and had slowly gotten worse and worse and I'm om medication for it witch doesn't seem to be helping at all even though I take it everyday. The intrusive thoughts usually consist of bad memories of when I was at school or sometimes can be paranoid thoughts and can very distressful and sometimes I try and reason with myself or to get rid of the thought and sometimes I can spend up to a few hours or even longer just trying to combat them and it's that serious sometimes I think whether i should be in mental institution or sometimes i think i'm mentally retarded because of it but my point is that I don't know why I keep getting them, is my intrusive thoughts related to ocd or anything else that I haven't thought of and if there is anyone out there that can give me answer to this or just any kind of help would much appreciated?
Thank you