Woke up early again today. Felt anxious but kind of faded off to feeling down, although my troubles causing anxiety are still at the back of my mind, and when I bring them to the forefront I feel that panic again. I don't like Sundays. It's cloudy. I sometimes think about starting to go back to church with my parents like I used to til a couple years ago. They would stop by and pick me and my son up. I have some beliefs that clash that make me reluctant, but it was a way to be around people and time with my parents. I've been visiting them almost daily since mom was in the hospital in May, though. That scared me and gave me a view of what life would be like without my parents around, so I try to visit daily as I'm only 15 minutes away. The company kind of helps me, too. Just feel strange today. My nerves are pretty shot. Have to call my son's doctor tomorrow to have him call the pharmacy to pre-approve his medication before I can pick them up. That has me nervous - I'm really shy and don't like doing things like that. I'm hoping there won't be any trouble. We've had to wait over the weekend because he was out by the time we called Friday. I'm also worried about how my son is going to react on this medicine and what troubles we're going to have going through all this. On top of my own ptsd and bad anxiety, I've been having a really hard time and feel unable to handle much more.
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