I have been suffering with depression since I was a teen but was not diagnosed until my mid twenties. It has been a constant roller coaster of emotions leading to bad decisions,bad relationships,and job loss. I just thought there was a flaw in me that I could never do anything correctly. I then got married and had three beautiful children. Things got really tough in 2010. I found myself jobless and my husband had to go back to his country and wait for resident status all the while I was 5 months pregnant with two little children in toe. My sister and father gave us a one way ticket to my husbands country. I was scared with no money. After three months my Aunte called and asked me if I wanted to come home. So we left my husband not knowing if the government would grant him residency and I came back to my home town. I had my third son alone in the hospital because my Aunte had to watch the other two children. After the birth of my son I enrolled my oldest in school and was able to rent a small house and soon after my husband came home. All he could do was complain about where we lived. Since then he has moved to another state to find work and several times moved back because he was unsuccessful. After all I have been through with him he says things to me that I would say is verbal abuse. He likes to make jokes about my body and about how lazy I am among other things. He doesn't understand depression and what it does to people. He seems to hone in on when I am really down and make it worse. All of these things have made it hard to be a mother and wife. Lately I feel like I am not living any kind of a life. It's been hard just to get up and push myself to go to work. I am on medication and I know it's not working well so I have made another doc apt at the free clinic. Being uninsured has made it very hard to find help. I know I need a theripst, but that to too far out of reach. I would appreciate if someone could help with some insight.