welcome to PC, i hope you find the community here helpful!

have you considered that maybe you engage in these activities due to underlying issues that have just been ignored and covered up for so long?

i know my fight with addictions has been due to my life long struggle to cope with my mental illness

you most definitely have the power to take control over these addictions and kick them to the curb, it takes time though and professional help is priceless... don't feel ashamed to ask for help, asking for help takes a ton of courage and shows that you realize there is a problem and want to fix it!
i would think about talking with a therapist/counselor about your concerns, they can be super helpful and give great insights

best wishes