Hey. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time. It sounds overwhelming and very atypical of the crippling exhaustion that is depression. Remember that depression isn't you - it's an illness. You and it are not attached.

Are you seeing a therapist? Medication might also be something to consider. Keep going. I'm here if you want to talk. One day at a time, remember that just by being alive you are doing so well.