Sorry about the confusion with the abbreviation, I wasn't sure if that was for bipolar, and I was wrong, it wasn't. Now I know, thanks. Most of my life I've had periods when I would be really happy, but just as fast, I could be really sad. But it really has gotten much worse over the last 15 years during my marriage. I've noticed that I (and I hate to say this because I love my husband) don't want to be around him, I'm always thinking of a life I wish I had different than the one I have. I continue to let my weight drop so low that you can see all of my bones protruding from my body, yet when I look in the mirror ,I still think that I look fat. Then my husband gets angry about how thin I am, so I'll put on a few pounds for a while. Then I will do it again. I want to be happy, I just don't know how to get happy.