good for you that you saw the doc and got the meds. my thoughts are with you on this journey. i too put on the happy face everyday for the outside world because if they saw the real me they would turn and run quickly. my own family, well , my children anyway realize that i am "sick" i don't hide things from them. never have never will. they do the best they can to help me if i need it. my daughter never stops trying to make me laugh. my son calls me every day to talk so that i don't cry as much because i miss him so. if i could find someone to listen my load would be a lot lighter . i just keep running away from all the things that try to drag me under. i'm not suicidal never have been. not afraid to die either. i don't believe in self-inflicting pain. i cry a LOT on a daily basis. what does that do ? just seems to be making me worse. but anyway, you are in a world full of people who are alone. we just have to help each other. that's one way of conquering the issue.