And... The bad thing? The catch-22? I'm petrified of dying.
At least I have my husband, whom I care about more than MY life, itself.
And lately, I've been so irritable and mean to him, which makes things worse.
I love him so much. Sometimes I think he deserves way much better than me. But the fact is, I love him too much to imagine life without him.

I think I've been diagnosed as MILDLY bi-polar. But for the life of me, I can't remember being manic, or even happy. I rate my days re happiness on a scale of 1 thru 10. Used to be four 2s, and three 8s. Now, it's seven 2s. Sound like bi-polar disorder to you?

To paraphrase Huey Lewis...I need a new drug. Any ideas? Chances are, I've tried it. Just what I remember off the top of my head. Since 2001, I've taken: Paxil, Celexa, Wellbutrin (currently on that, but I don't like it.) I'm also supposed to be taking Abilify, but the side effects were horrible, so I stopped.

Can anyone help me?