That's why we call it Bi-Polar. My teeter totter is the same as you two right now. I feel my butt is on the ground and there's no one on the other side. Ergo - there isn't balance.

But - for the first time in some 25 plus years, I've again started seeing a therapist. Since I've been Bi-Polar for so long, I've simply outgrown having to rehash the crap that got me here in the first place. Well, those things that exacerbated the chemical imbalance problem I was born with, to be more exact. Stuff happens when you can't process properly. Meh.

Now, I'm trying to find a reason to go on. Frankly, at my age, it's not an easy prospect. Couple that with the need to purchase my final resting place and all that accompany the disposal of this imbalanced body, and it's just too much sometimes.

However, I have a really cute place picked out and I have a very healthy knowledge of what I can and cannot do when it comes to that subject. I am not the one who gets to choose which sometimes sucks so badly. However, I've noticed that many Bi-Polar people are extremely honest about what they are 'allowed' to do. Therefore, I'm simply in tune with the band and that's a good thing.

Guess what - I guess on the 30th when I see my ShrinkyGuy again, I will be able to make him happy and take it off the table as he keeps asking me to do. He'll be so pleased. At least that's how I feel today. It will probably change if I don't find a way to actually sleep.

For me, no sleep hurts physically.