Of course, it always starts like this and it never ends. I was doing well, but it never lasts...

I'm so stressed right now and I don't know what to do anymore, I'm trying so hard to stay strong, even when I'm so alone with everything.

My parents don't have enough money to go through this month and neither do I. I was supposed to go down to the county office to beg for money, but I'm so sick today, just my luck. I HAVE to go tomorrow, because it's just not my mom who needs money, it's my grandmother too.

I haven't had any money for the past few months and I'm literally near-starving myself just to make sure there's enough food for the next week to come. I know it's not healthy, given my cancer and the toll it's taking on my body, but I just don't want my family to suffer. I shouldn't be living at home, leeching off them, they deserve better and I feel so horrible for having burdened them for 2 more years.

I'm trying so hard to get a job so I can help them out, but no one really wants to hire under-educated people. I didn't get into school because of a minor misunderstanding, so I'm without money for a good while until my parents are back on their feet. I can't even afford my medication, so that too poses a minor problem.

I just really don't know what to do anymore, I'm trying so so so hard to keep it all together and to help my family, but it all is starting to come undone at the seams.

I hate myself for being so weak and I truly wish I could disappear. I have loans to pay, but I too am on my knees begging them to postpone and stall.

It's just one big mess....