It is so hard. I am trying to put things in a different perspective . I have grieved. I have spoken to other people. I still see , not always so successfully, the need for me to still make good decisions. Decisions that are meant to take good care of myself. Eat properly and dress well and make sure I have some outside time and creative distractions. There are still a lot of moments left in life to climb up and try to make life better.