Totally understand. I'm 42 and a stay-at-home mom, and I have no friends. I've been suffering ptsd and really bad anxiety since we lost everything in a fire in December. I had 10 cats that my life pretty much revolved around and kept me pretty busy aside from the usual cleaning and caring for the family. Without my cats now, I feel so lost. There's so much spare time that I don't know what to do with myself. I'm terrified of the future, too. I leave most things up to my husband and never thought about it til lately. If anything happened to him, I really don't know if I could handle things. I can't even drive across the river nearby because I'm scared of the new bridge and more traffic now. I was trying to handle the bills because my husband is usually late with a lot of them but it's stressing me out so bad and making my anxiety a lot worse. I'm thinking of handing the job back over to him. I've recently started visiting my parents almost every day. That takes up some time. I read and study some things of interest. I'm adjusting a little now to the extra time but don't feel any sense of purpose anymore. I wish I could be of more help. Just wanted you to know you're not alone and I care and understand.