I just need to put this out there....I may be the only one here dealing with it, but I am so tired of feeling alone.

I have been diagnosed with DID since 1993. I'm so tired with it. I have to work full time, and it's so hard for me to maintain composure for 40 hours a week. One day this week, my autistic alter came out and didn't know where she was. She e-mailed my husband (one of our whole system's safety things) and he called a few minutes later. He talked to her and then got me to come out. I still felt very swirly and fragile after that, but didn't have long to finish the work day. She had come out while I was on my way to the ladies room and then got lost. The mommy alter led her back to my space but then the autistic one came right back out. Luckily my office is away from others so no one heard her on the phone - her voice is different from mine and she was asking where she was. I am not co-conscious with her. There are others I am not co-conscious with too.

I had ten years of therapy, and was even integrated for nine years until another major trauma happened and I split again, but I just don't know the answers to making sure someone doesn't pop out at inopportune times. It's not something I can easily control. It's frustrating to have been dealing with it this long. I know other multiples, but they don't have to work. I carry our health insurance and also earn more than my husband, so part time work is out of the question.

I just needed to vent I guess. *sigh* Anyone else here working with DID? How do you cope?