Hi survivor Cardznutz
My heart is breaking for your Rose saying "Oh" and wondering who will walk the dog! I just want to tell you I know how that feels. I heard that kind of response from my John for a long time. The response I got to the "I think I may kill myself , or I want to kill myself" was "no you won't". That used to scare the crap out of me. I also knew he was wondering who would watch the kids. It really made me scared I would "walk in front of the bus".
You may have said before that mental health is geared towards women, that is truly unfair! Im appalled and very sorry to hear that. I hope you get help soon. You may need new meds. Are you sure you aren't manic at times? The Abilify is helping me be more optimistic, and active, it is a great drug for me and I have been depressed since last June so I think I know of what I speak. LOL Even when I was manic I was depressed.

I think this thread is perfect for us J, lets hang here. If you want to. I'll bet your survival list is very long, but you HAVE to have affirmations in it too. That's the catch you have to talk yourself up! Something you almost never do. I think you need to start loving yourself, you are a really cool dude, you know.....oh, you don't know? Well, take it from me, won't you? I have a really high IQ if you care to know. And an eye/ear for quality. I KNOW you have a wonderful book in you, if people here knew some of the stories you told us before they'd be ROFL. BTY I am trying to get some of our old dialogues maybe I can retrieve some stories so you can have them for a book. It could even be a book of short stories. Part of your past and part your present. I would buy it. Well I ramble on....
Survive on survivors......
Fight the power