Start where you are. Take issue with your judgments of yourself as if others are judging you. What evidence do you have that you "drone" much less "too long"? Apologizing for yourself before you even start? Technically, if you believed you could drone on too long, in less time than it took to type that sentence you could have just decided you'd work to not do that?

One thing I would get rid of too, if the "try" part? Channel Yoda instead? You are allowed to do what you want, it is your life. If you want to drone on, then you can drone on, if you want to type too much/long then you can do that, if you want to say, "Hey, to heck with you inner critic!" then you can. Thinking ill of yourself and putting yourself down does nothing whatsoever for you? Change the thinking so they "negatives" are not closed judgments, you "are" this way and cannot change, but what you want to work on next for yourself. I would work to get rid of the stuff that stops you before you start, the declaring that you are not going to make more money in the future, not support your family any better, etc. Sorry, you are good but you aren't that good that you know the future