I have never cried in front of my T. He talks about this with me every week because it is seriously limiting the things that I can talk about with him because of my refusal to cry. I avoid the depth of many issues because I don't want to cry in front of him. Or I detach myself from the thing that I am talking about so it seems like it happened to someone else. I talk about myself like a case study. I feel exposed enough already. I don't really feel like sitting there with snot and mascara covering my face while he just watches. No f***ing way.

One time I really let go with my old pdoc in NY. It was when I was hospitalized. I was seeing him in his office at the hospital. I was absolutely, completely, 100 percent hysterical. Crying, wailing, tissues and snot everywhere. And what was he doing? Nothing really. A little paperwork here and there. A**hole.