after many years of illness and failure in getting well fully,after therapies, medication,and a host of other stuff i felt i was shipwrecked on the shores of mental illness.i have been close to taking my own life many times such was the depth of my despair.i was brought up very strict catholic not a lot of love i found there only hell and damnation, i could not see a loving god how could i when my parents were critical and harsh, as a child they were my god before xmas last i got so low that again i thought of taking my own life several months ago i got the faint idea of offering my troubles up to god as i've fought so hard to beat them,i'm not cured totally but i now i can only describe as having a smile in my heart and i'm ok whether i feel ok or not , thats's why i believe