Hi gang

I have been perplexed with my behaviors over my whole adult life. The one repeating theme which confuses me the most is my multiple relocations and job changes to include in and out of my past career as a Respiratory Therapist. I have had so many different jobs and there must be some nomadic history in my genes as I have relocated over 45 times. Something bad happens...ie: loss of a relationship or I guit another job and I move out of state. I plan the trip well so it goes smoothly but when I get there...I ask myself, what did I do?

This happened again a year ago. I had to put my mini-schnauzer down due to an illness after a 9 year companionship so I was grieving so badly. So what do I do? I move to the border of Maine and Canada in a small town where there was nothing. After the newness wore off, I was asking myself, what happened? I hated it there and for the first time I did the right thing and moved back where I moved from. Usually, I would have moved somewhere else and either found it a place to stay for a while and then move on.

Any thoughts of what may be going on in my brain when this happens? Is it an ADHD thing (executive function) or BPD thing? I was on SSRI's and they did not stop my impulsivity. I have heard that SSRI's can alter dopamine activity in a negative way. I had a need to explore again. The problem is, it was not a good decision. Any feedback would be appreciated.