First of all, mental illness is very very real. What is unbelievable is how stupidly we can be dealt with by professionals. I sincerely hope psychiatry can show you a more positive side but even so, a lot of the battle has to be fought alone and that's pretty rough. We're here to aid you in any way we can. In times like this i think about what i need or what i feel i can rather than can't do. And i do it. It actually displaces the guilt and i feel less burdened. Maybe 'going with it' a bit more could help for now? Just a thought, i could be totally wrong