I'm afraid of start quitting on my mental health care. It's hard.
It's not that I don't know I should get help or that I don't want to have it. I have some avoidant personality traits (I'm good at self-diagnosis... ), in my opinion. Is just there is this feeling that one time or another always gets in the middle. I think I won't be able to feel confortable in the appointments anymore.
Is the same things in the litle shops near by. I go there once, twice, I'm a stranger so there is no big deal. But it comes to a point when the people who work there start to recognize your face and then just the idea of me going there to buy something makes me feel anxyous imagining what they might think of my shopping and my choices, and sometimes I just don't go there because I feel stupid of just buying this or that. It's stupid but I can't avoid it.

Any way I'm trying to avoid meeting with my doctor. I don't feel ready to come back. Some weeks ago I met her on faculty. It was so akward, I'm pretty sure my "hi" smille looked pretty fake. I still have to schedulle a new appointment since I miss the last one (kinda on porpuse), and I don't feel like doing it.
My decision is no, not now, but one part of me knows it won't lead me anywhere, so if I say no to her proposition is like start ending the journey and I will have to explain her why I don't want to do that, but I also don't want to tell her my reasons.