Basically, I struggle with this. It is currently better. She will play the mom role for me and I sometimes really feel like it is mutual. That she really does see me as a daughter and that helps. She told me she does.

I did lesson communications but not voluntarily. I met her while in patient. I would be around her from 9 to 5 almost daily. The mom feelings were intense but remarkably, when I was discharged and moved to talking to her only once a week, that was by far the hardest. My attachment didn't lessen, the feelings didn't go away, and the amount of pain I felt for 3-5 months would sometimes leave me in bed crying for "mom" all day and hours into the night.

I guess things got better when I started to just accept that she is my mom in my mind. But not a mom for a small child but rather for a person my age who is in college. I can contact her for help, we text a lot, she's always there, and she loves me. That isn't too different from a real mom/daughter relationship I think. Maybe it is. Regardless, I just kind of embraced that I do have a mother finally even if she really isn't you know? Like the fact that it isn't real doesn't bother me because it's kinda real. She is fitting my definition of "mom" in lots of ways. Maybe I'm just deluding myself again and I'll soon crash hard. But I've been kinda at peace with it for maybe two months. I just mostly really miss her right now.