Today I am feeling really "wired", although it doesn't feel like anxiety - my heart is not racing and my breathing is fine - however my whole back is tense and painful, I keep feeing really excited and giggling to myself - it feels like I have a race horse inside of me that is trying to run away and I am having to pull hard on the reins. Not sure why I am writing this here, maybe just a record for myself, for when I forget how it feels right now.

Those dark times feel far far away right now, yet from past experience, I know they are likely to return.