Hey inreallife I'm stodgy as all hell. I read really hard philosophy in my free time, I like Jazz music, I own several wool blazers, and I plan on getting a PhD. I'm seriously one of the headiest people I know. And I thought at first to find a good T that you needed to see someone with a PhD, but I've come to find this really isn't the case. It turns out that spending a lot of time writing a dissertation doesn't really do anything to help with your people skills.

I've been to a number of therapists at this point, and I can tell you that the whole reason that I don't trust therapy is because of something that happened with a T who had a PhD.

I'm also really quite a handful. I have my own philosophical ideas that cause me to argue and not listen to T's. I also have borderline traits. I'm pretty sure that the only reason that I'm not a full blown case is because I had some therapy in my teen years.

Anyway I see someone now who just has a masters. And I think our relationship is going really well. She's plenty smart and really thoughtful. I also feel pretty sure that she can handle most of my **** given the fact that her previous job was at a residential treatment center for adolescent boys, which she said she liked and I assume that she was good at.

The point is you just need to find a T who you feel you can trust, and who gets you as a person. Someone who is sensitive to an accidental boob touch is probably not the kind of person you want to be seeing. That really doesn't send a very caring message.

I know its hard but its worth it to call around. When ever I have done it I always make a list of questions to ask every person I call, and I think about what kind of answers I want to hear. Think of it like a job interview, and you are only going to hire the kind of person you really want. And as far as the degree thing goes, I really think that where the degree came from is way more important than what kind of degree it is. My current T has a degree from Northwestern (which probably means she's a bit smarter than the average bear, but it probably just make her a good find for me because of my extremely irritating sensibilities), but People from good state schools would probably be fine too. So if you care to be picky about education you might not see someone who went to some tinny middle of nowhere school you've never hear of, but you never know smart people come from all walks of life. So it just comes down to what makes you conformable. But being too picky about this kind of thing is going to make it hard.

You really can interview as many people over the phone as you want. And if they try to make you come in, and don't want to hear your questions, that probably means that they are not a good fit. Just let them know that you want to ask them a few things upfront, so they can let you know if they have time or not.