Hey. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a bad time. It sounds overwhelming and very atypical of the crippling exhaustion that is depression. Remember that depression isn't you - it's an illness. You and it are not attached.

Are you seeing a therapist? Medication might also be something to consider. Keep going. I'm here if you want to talk. One day at a time, remember that just by being alive you are doing so well.

But I don't want you to die and I'm pretty certain your family wouldn't want that either. I know things are really hard for you right now but it does get better. I promise. It just takes time. It's taken me a while but I think things are slowly improving for me too, and for most of this year I just saw no alternative other than suicide. But I am getting there, slowly but surely. And I know you will too