Thanks for the reply Travelinglady. I’m definitely going to discuss this with my therapist next time I see her, unfortunately that’ll only be at the end of next week ‘cause this week she’s away…

I agree with you about the guy at work; I’ll continue being buddies with him but it would probably be best to avoid trying for a relationship with him right now.

Umm… as for the guy on the building committee whom I may or may not ask out tomorrow… I realize that from an objective standpoint it probably doesn’t make any sense that I’d ask somebody else out right after (and as a result of) getting triggered away from another guy… and I also realize that the idea to call him up came from somewhere impulsive (and as a general rule I try to always resist impulsivity even if I can’t think right away of a rational reason to do so)… and yet… I still don’t find myself entirely convinced that asking him out tomorrow would necessarily be a bad idea, despite the abundance of evidence that it probably would be…

Erm… looking at it from a pros and cons perspective, what I figure is this:

Cons:
1) As I’ve just learned from the example of the guy at work, I’m apparently still not mentally ready for a relationship yet because I apparently still tend to turn borderline at the first whiff of romance.

2) A while ago I actually did consider the building committee guy as a potential mate and came up with excuses to chat with him for hours on end (he was happy and willing to do so) but I eventually gave it up because there didn’t seem to be any chemistry there.

3) He’s pretty much in the process of moving away and will be living an hour or so away, in the middle of some farm, in an apartment that’s essentially part of his parents’ house.

Pros:
1) After having finally gotten back to the point of actually wanting a relationship again for the first time in years (and it was a pretty darn painful/triggering process getting there) I don’t really want to come out of it “empty handed” and revert back to my ice-queen stage for God-knows-how-many-more-years.

2) It would probably make my therapist happy if I did try dating someone, even if it ultimately turns into a train wreck, if only so that she and I can finally start doing some relationship-work.

3) He may be kind of boring but he’s at least not cold and distant and he does seem both interested and sensitive so there’s probably less chance of getting triggered by him. Plus he’s not a coworker, which also makes things relatively less complicated.

4) BECAUSE he’s going away it would probably be best to at least try grabbing him before he leaves (I live in a pretty small town where most of the decent guys are either taken or long gone to the big city) and it’s not like I haven’t done long distance before anyway.

Um, sorry for going on and on about this btw, I basically just wanted to process this idea before doing something stupid… not that doing so has always actually helped prevent me from doing stupid things… but I figure this way I’ll at least be able to tell myself later that I did think about running into the brick wall before running into the brick wall