I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this...

I don't think however, that it is so uncommon to feel emotions for other people instead of for yourself. At least I do the same, I'm sad when others are sad but I am never sad for myself so I hate when my T looks sad when I say something because it indirectly makes me sad for myself, right? So my T learned to not look very sad as it irritates me

I think you just have a lot of empathy and you think about others more than about yourself, it is a very good and nice skill but unfortunately not necessarily the best for yourself...