Long story short, my dad and most of his siblings don't get along because of decades of legitimately toxic behavior. As a result, I have stopped going to all family functions other than maybe the occasional funeral. I only talk to maybe 3 people on that side of the family now. The rest of that side of the family are all one big happy family.

My grandmother passed away last year and my aunts (the main ones I don't get along with) divied up most of her hats from the 1930s-80s. I am really into vintage fashion. Even before my grandmother passed away we passionately connected on matters of clothing and style. It would really mean a lot to me if I could have even one of her hats. They aren't seeing the light of day right now!

I find it really awkward to even temporarily borrow pictures from my grandma's old house to copy and give back. I'm afraid of the drama that would ensue if I asked the aunt I get along with for a hat. I'm afraid my relatives may blow the situation way out of proportion. I could just not bother with this at all and continue to bottle up everything and passively let my relatives commandeer every material vestige of my grandparents…as usual. Is it stupid for even bringing up?