Quote:
Originally Posted by trying2survive
ahh, the dreaded BPD..funny how it screws things up for us sometimes, eh?
seems like as long as we don't dabble in relationships we are 'cured' so to speak.
at least i feel that way sometimes..and wonder why i even try.
i think the best thing for us BPD's when trying to initiate any type of romantic relationship, is to see the person in small doses( once a week).
i believe in the beginning anything more than that is just too much.with you working together, you will constantly see and wonder about him and what he's doing..if he is talking to someone else too much, if he's talking about you, if he is thinking about you.
the situation can quickly spiral out of control, which of course if you are anything like me will inevitably lead to you curled up in the bed crying and unable to get out of the bed due to so much emotional pain.and then of course the devaluation stage & you've got to look at this guy every day afterward...
idk, tough spot..but with the pangs roiling up already..you may want to reconsider..unless somehow you can control it. good luck!
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Thanks for your reply too trying2survive (um, by the time you wrote this I’d already written my second post on this thread but it hasn’t been approved yet cuz I’m still under 5 posts which is why these two are separate)
I know what you mean about the not dabbling in relationships bit… I know at least one other girl with BPD who also decided at one point to stop dating because she said she’s “not healthy” when in any kind of a relationship. I wonder how common it is among us to become generally more unbalanced when with someone… Still, I don’t really want to think of staying alone forever as the answer :/. My mother had BPD too (not officially dxed but she certainly fit the bill) and for the last 20+ years of her life she stayed single on purpose… sometimes the idea appeals to me too but I don’t really want to end up the same way…
I don’t really get to see the guy at work every day btw. It’s only when we get assigned to working side on the same thing on the same day, which happens about twice a week, and even then we don’t always have a chance to talk. I agree that that usually helps against intensity though. My best friend (of 5 years now) have a rule of only talking to each other for a set amount of time once a week
(she’s a BPDer too btw and a strong believer in boundaries).