i don't know if i would attempt if i went off on my own. sometimes i wonder if i'm not contemplating suicide because i feel so trapped (postpartum and whatnot). the idea of getting away, just me and myself, sounds... nice. like the first interesting thing to come my way in an endless parade of monotony and mundane.

idk. i do suppose that if it were to happen my t would want safety measures in place. not sure how that would look but i'd agree to come back alive if it meant i didn't end up in the hospital.