ak, i think you're right that internalizing T is a start. I like that it sounds like you are starting to allow that too! Yay!!

ak, I also think people don't think of me at all when I'm not aroung. I even can get worked up and think that they are mad at me or hate me and really don't ever want to be around me but they "have" to for some reason and just put up with me.

I can and do get obsessed about it and the distress is grueling. I just had a day of it today, having to deal with those thoughts and feelings all day at work, sneak off to walk off some anxiouse energy, cry in the restroom... felt disconnected all day.

It really makes me angry that your dad did that to you, ak.

ECHOES