Hi everyone

I need a little advice. I'm not sure where to begin.
In the last 5 years I've turned down many invitations to go out on dates. Mostly I've not wanted to get involved because of the BP. I would never disclose and was always afraid I'd end up in an episode, I was isolating and I just couldn't go through with it.

For the last while my friend has been harassing me over this one particular guy and I've been telling her no forever. This has continued. Well on the weekend after a few drinks it didn't seem like such a bad idea. So it was set up for tonight. He's driving 2 hours for this and is on his way.

Right now I'm doing work around the trauma of being abused by my previous 2 husbands.
Well...I started thinking about it last nigh and I started to get scared but didn't say anything to my friend, I thought maybe today would be better. This morning it was no better and got myself so worked up I couldn't even make my T appt. I'm totally paralyzed. I'm just freaking out for all the reasons mentioned above.

NOW WHAT DO I DO? The anxiety is overwhelming. I thought I could do this but I'm terrified.

So...any suggestions????