he replied last night :-)

i do worry that he reads here sometimes... he has promised over and over that he doesn't and he never will but sometimes it is really very uncanny how he seems to be responding to something i've posted here...

it was strange getting the email. very strange. i guess i didn't really know what to say... and he didn't either. i am going to respond late tonight (cause i'm going away for the weekend).

i'm gonna tell him that i'm not sure what we are doing in sessions sometimes (about how i'd like to try free association and about why i have trouble getting into something)

and i'll tell him that its ok if he doesn't set limits so long as he promises to tell me preferably BEFORE i cross them and i'll promise to try and be respectful. like with how often i email him and how long they are

he said he isn't scared of me. he doesn't feel unsafe with me. that i don't need to reassure him. that he didn't expect he would never feel uncomfortable when he agreed to work with me. that rage is part of the deal too.

maybe...

we'll see...