Did / does anyone else have this? For me, it was almost three years of feeling traumatized by what happened during my manic episodes.

I felt like everything was ruined and I would have no future. I couldn't stop spacing out and thinking about what happened even when I was supposed to be having fun. I was maid of honor at my best friend's wedding - the night before the wedding my college friends and I were sitting in a lounge drinking champagne and talking. At some point, one of my friend says, "Are you OK? You've been staring into the distance for the last 40 minutes." I had spaced out again.... thinking about it again.

I had no self-esteem. Every interaction I had with people I interpreted completely negatively so it was hard to talk to people. The worst part was that I thought I just couldn't get over my episode, so it was a weakness on my part, and I blamed myself for being so pathetic. Finally, my psychiatrist asked me to see a specialist for trauma.

I guess the most upsetting thing to me was that I was not myself for years after my first bipolar episode. It was not just the bipolar episodes that stole part of my life. Even when the manic and depressive episodes were gone, the trauma associated with it robbed me of years of happiness and feeling comfortable with myself. Plus I was so distracted by my unhappiness that I couldn't focus on my career as much as my friends were so I feel behind in that respect too.

Does anyone have a similar experience with trauma from bipolar episodes?