Rapunzel:
It's cool that you got a violin! Sorry about your grandfather though.

"What would you be risking if you asked?" That's a good question. I guess I am psyching myself out huh? My aunts do all talk to each other and they could spin it in a way like I'm trying to just be greedy and infringe on things. If such conversation ever got back to my Dad he would keep bringing it up making me feel bad about the whole thing.

hvert:
There's 60 years of issues lol. Mostly my granddad was emotionally abusive to my dad, not so much the other people. The older aunts and uncles are under the impression that my dad was my grandmothers favorite. Nothing physical but most of the siblings kind if left my dad out of things because they accused him of always thinking he was "better than" them. The main issues are with 2 aunts in particular and a few of the cousins. These 2 aunts tend to be controlling and don't handle it well when people don't do or think whatever they happen to agree with.

The aunts are very passive aggressive and spread rumors about things..or when it comes to my dad the oldest aunt is just aggressive :/ I can have more cordial interactions with several cousins on that side of the family closer to my age. There is one aunt in particular that I interact with the most and she's not aggressive about things. If I want to get a hat, that's the aunt I need to talk to (she lives in my grandparents old house). If she takes things offensively, she may complain to her sisters and open up a can of worms. She may cool about it.

My dad wants to cut all contact at this point. If I don't want to cut all contact, then he may see it as some kind of betrayal or something, or constantly remind me of all the mean things his family has done to him over the years (he says he's not bitter but he totally is). Like I said, I get along with a few of my younger cousins who don't get involved in the drama and I don't want things to be awkward with them.