Quote:
Originally Posted by cashart10
2 1/2 years ago I also had a psychotic break. I believed that the Lord answered ALL of my prayers (and only my prayers) if the Holy Spirit lead me to pray them. I believed that the Lord was speaking directly to me. I was laying my hands on people and speaking in tongues and casting out demons although I'm not charismatic. I would go running singing praise music at the top of my lungs thinking it would lead people to the Lord. I also believed the Lord was telling me to do some reckless things. Then, I started to believe demons were trying to get me to kill myself. The Bible that I had been reading 4 to 6 times a day started to condemn me. Needless to say, I was over the top hyper-religious and delusional. This was very traumatizing to me as a Christian because once I realized none of this was real, I couldn't determine what was real. It is still troubling to me now. How do I know if something is occurring because of my faith or because of my illness? My husband says he will ALWAYS tell because I went so mad while psychotically manic. It makes me sad nonetheless.
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That sounds A LOT like my old self. The realization that all my religious beliefs were actually delusional beliefs was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me psychologically.
Once I finally let my faith go for good, and let reason and rationality reign over my mind, a huge block of
cognitive dissonance lifted off my mind. Becoming an atheist, after a life-long obsession with God and the bible, etc.... was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It just happened last year, and my mind is so much more stable now.
This site:
ex-christian.net forums really helped me out while I was going through the painful process of my faith unraveling.
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