Well, I need to rebuild my personality. I'm not sure whether there is much that is worth saving of the old personality, which can manage to maintain an act and appear competent when necessary, but prefers to just break down and get someone else to take care of me, or just leave me alone and let me self-destruct. I don't know what's even real. Which is me? Most people who want to present an image to the world will create one where everything looks perfect even though it's not. This serves to hide the mess that they have made of their inner lives. But for some reason, to hide my mess, I create a bigger mess. Nothing makes sense. I don't know why I do that. I asked T how to stop it, and she laughed at me and asked if I really expected her to answer that one. But I really want to stop, and I don't know how.