Well I have finally done it, I have managed to alienate everyone around me online and even my only irl friend wont talk to me anymore,

He camped his sorry butt in my room for the last 2 days after I got hit by a car last Friday, which failed to stop, on my way to his house to score some weed, then I proceeded to fall down the steep iron stairs to his basement flat, I was struggling to walk at the time as I was in a lot of pain, the kind of pain that only a co.cktail of copious amounts of drink, weed and prescription drugs would mask, only to find when I finally got down there he wasn’t in, I’m just bruised, hurting and annoyed nothing physically serious, but I still had to drag my sorry, bruised and bashed butt back up the stairs and get home via the public transport system, which if any of you know or remember I don’t like using because it triggers my DID because of the physical contact of crowded busses and tubes, so yeah that was a big bucket of fun, just so I wont bypass the profanity filter again I will leave the choice of expletives I was using all the way home to your own colourful imaginations

My ex-friend was trying to talk me into seeing the doctor over my weight loss, not eating, heavy drinking and cutting myself, I was unable to get out of bed to get rid of him physically because of the bruising from my hip to my knee caused by the car and the stairs, so verbally I ripped him to shreds at any and all opportunities just to get rid of him, he didn’t really deserve it, but he wouldn’t go away, I am so acerbic at the moment anyone and everyone is fair game to me.
Oh did I fail to mention it was the 1 year anniversary of my now ex-friends moms funeral last weekend ? So I know he just wanted the company and someone to talk to himself, to get him threw the week, I wanted neither, so I told him exactly where to go and where to stick the friendship, yes I really am that much of a illegitimate child when I want to be, I am sick of dealing with other peoples crap all the time whilst letting my own problems build to a point where even denial is no longer a valid option, rant, rant, rant………………and relax.

My doctor has resorted to sending me emails reminding me I should have seen her 2 weeks ago for my weigh in and that I have missed my last 2 appointments, another appointment has been made for me for this Friday, I have not responded to her, nor have I responded to the mental health teams knocking on my door twice this week already, trying to get in my room to see me, I am not going to be sectioned again by those incompetent fools

My current mood swings are erratic, verging on violent uncontrollable rage, depression to the depths that make me cut, to the sheer desperation of getting my butt out of bed to cook a meal only to throw it in the bin uneaten or only slightly picked at. my tolerance level for any interaction irl is zero, online in various sites its worse, my outlook and opinions currently are caustic, spiteful, educated personal verbal assaults, put them down before they put you down sort of thing, oh and hurtful with a hint of sarcasm to really rub it in,

So I guess what I am saying is if I have ignored any of you recently I have done it for a reason, don’t take it personally, the less people I talk to right now the better for everyone.