Quote:
Originally Posted by pbutton
Bad sessions do suck. I had one last week. The weird thing is T and I talked about it today and I learned about it it through his perspective (and he mine) and it was very enlightening. So maybe something good can come of it?
Quite a ***** to have to WAIT until that next session though. So sorry. I really struggled when I went every 2 weeks. It was miserable for me.
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Thank you, pb. I hope that happens to me too. I've been doing well so maybe this is a small setback.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bounceback
So sorry to hear your session sucked rainbow. Been there. Got the T-shirt. I know how hard it is to internalize the caring. Sometimes I don't think mine cares much either but other times I think she does. I sent her a message on my chart telling her that I didn't feel like she cared about me and she got offended and I got the lecture about boundaries and all that.
I have been seeing my T almost 6 years and will be eventually winding down and dreading it. I am not where I want to be in life. I know the feeling of thinking your T wants to be free of you. Right now I see her every week because I recently lost my mom. She always tells me therapy isn't supposed to last forever which I already know.
Sometimes it feels like she is the only person I can talk to about anything.
So I emphasize with you and hope your next session goes better.  |
Thank you. I'm sorry about your Mom. I know T cares most of the time and that's why she wants me to be happy in my life, without needing her. It's hard. I want therapy to be forever but I don't think my T agrees with me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tigergirl
Rain ... it seems like the two of you continue to have different goals for your therapy
In reading it seems more like you want your T to be someone to be there for you, who will give you regular comforting contact ... someone to share your life with as far as being able to tell them what is happening for you; to talk to them about different things; and have your T provide an ongoing positive and supportive environment for you
No matter how much you internalise her ... I don't see how it would really meet the need it seems you have ... which is also a perfectly valid need
Sorry this was such a bad session  .. I really hope you can talk more about all of this with her |
Yes, I wish my T could be like that for me. She's been like that in the past when I had 90 minutes. I never did well with 60. But reality is that no one can be there like my fantasy person. My mother almost was, but she wasn't always comforting. She was there to listen to me, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petra5ed
It happens, and it sucks when it does. Sorry you're hurting.
You'll probably hate my answer to this, but yes that's what I think. I know how difficult it is, and I have been there and caved and sent emails I shouldn't have, but now I feel more connected with less communication... it sounds like a loss but really it is a massive improvement in my life. Journal, meditate, go for a walk and practice being ok by yourself as much as possible. I mean if you break down then email, but do try  . It takes multiple tries too, it's not going to be easy sorry to say. |
No, I appreciate your being honest, Petra. I'm going to try! I was much happier those weeks I didn't think about my T. I didn't have to force myself not to email then. Holding her hand sustained me for the 2 weeks. I've got to get that feeling back again. I will journal about today and probably cry a lot. I want the 2 weeks to go fast but I know I need to be mindful and live in the present. It's a struggle. I keep busy but it doesn't seem like enough.